Ahhhh~ hello wonderful sanctuary blog where no1 really cares.
Recently, reality hasn't been nice to me
and to think i thought we had a mutual relationship
:(
and i do not wish to seek professional help
because i don't like authority
so i shall learn how to deal with my own problems
which are
1) being mean
(basically a bitch)
not exactly intentional
therefore shall work on it
cutting classes and myself
study more!!!!!
and i don't really know how to work the 2nd part out
cos it really does have its pros and cons
PROS
releases stress
makes me control my feelings
helps me lighten my gulity conscience
it's somewhat.....soothing? therapeutic? fun?
CONS
erm....its bad
it's ugly
everyone's telling me not to do it?
ugly
ugly
ugly
ugly
ugly
ugly
SCARS!!!!
and i know right now someones being sangry at me for cutting
so i wanna say sorry
also i've been hurting alot of ppl lately
and i don't really know why becoming more and more like my mum
and thats scary
so i apologise to all of you
and i'll try to change back to my old self
i even have a plan!!!
THE AWESOME NINA PLAN
step 1) avoid ppl i have not yet harmed and give excuse of having to study for exams
step 2) only do things that would make me happy
step 3) excluding overdosing and cutting
step 4) DO NOT let other ppls negativity affect thyself
step 5) throw away knife (erm.....this one can be optional i guess)
step 6) if i do still cut, tell someone i trust so that the person can reprimand you
step 7) don't tell mirabel step
8) don't tell gracine either step
8.5) or jayme step 8.75) or really, anyone i love too much that i can't bear to hurt
(NOT THAT I DON'T TRUST THEM, i just dun want to disturb them)
step 9) find someone that i trust and will not kill me if they found out im still cutting
step 10) pass O's step
11) find rich boyfriend step
12) marry rich boyfriend/fiance step
13) shopppppp step
14) fly to london to join nicole ang step
15) shoppppp in london step
16) fling with tom felton step
17) die happy
~the end~
:)
SEEE!!!!
WONDERFUL PLAN!!!!
escpecially step 16!!!
So people who i have hurt/have yet to hurt
i'm so terribly sorry
:(
i really do feel guilty
i even have the scars to prove
but just deal with me/ignore me till im through with the plan
because you're too much of a treasure to loose unless :)
you're some weird stranger reading this
maybe if we got to know each other a little better
perhaps.....
